J. A. Faulkerson’s PLAYBOOK INSIGHT SERIES: Becoming a Reliable Friend

Posted on May 23, 2019 by Jeffery "J.A." Faulkerson

Hello, everyone.

My name is J. A. Faulkerson, and I’m the author of Young Achiever Playbook: Planning to Achieve.  I released this book in early 2019 in hopes of giving adolescents and young adults some of the tools they will need to lay firmer foundations for prosperous living.

The book is available for online purchase at jafaulkerson.wordpress.com/store.

Today’s topic is Nurturing, the first of four pillars of prosperity.  The other three pillars are Learning, Working and Leading.  Nurturing is based on the belief that people should grow up to fall in love, get married, and provide parental warmth to their children.  To move toward greatness as a Nurturer, it is my belief that we must master three distinct roles, that of Reliable Friend, Present Spouse and Active Parent.  I will share my insights about what it means to become a Present Spouse and Active Parent in future presentations.  However, I would like to take some time now to answer questions related to becoming a Reliable Friend.

I believe a Reliable Friend is someone you can count on to provide meaningful advice, guidance, support, love and companionship.  But in order for me to be receptive to these provisions, I must trust the person delivering them.  I need to know that the person who wants to become my friend is not out to hurt me through the improper use of their words or deeds.

There’s a verse in the Christian bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, that describes qualities mostly associated with love.  But I’m here to tell you that these qualities should also be present in our friends.  A Reliable Friend is:

  • Patient and kind
  • Doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud
  • Doesn’t dishonor you, and isn’t self-seeking or easily angered
  • Keeps no record or wrongs, always protects you, trusts you, and hopes for the best for you

It is my belief that a person develops a desire to be reliable by getting in touch with his/her Selfless Self.  If you’re anything like my younger self, your default response when interacting with others is to focus on your needs while ignoring the needs of others.  But after many years of being focused on my own needs (i.e., acts of selfishness), I started considering other people’s needs, circumstances.  And it was this consideration that caused me to conclude that the thing we all need most are opportunities to live our best lives now while belonging to someone, or something, special.  Reliable friends care deeply about the people they befriend, and are committed to forging shared experiences that enrich the whole not just the parts.

Becoming a Reliable Friend has many benefits.  I’m about to list three here.

The first benefit is that you know your friendships are based on unconditional love, admiration and respect.  Reliable friends don’t care about you because you do X, Y and Z; they care about you because your words and deeds show you’re a decent person, one who is worthy of their love, admiration and respect.  If they did say they care about you because of X, Y and Z, I would consider that the beginning of a toxic relationship.  You don’t need any toxicity in your life, you need more tonic.

The second benefit is that you gain an appreciation for why it is so important to give of your time, talent, testimony and treasure.  Most of the time, when someone references the four T’s, we think they’re talking about philanthropy, the act of selflessly giving of your time, talent, testimony and treasure.  But we gift these things to our friends as well.  The conversations we have, the athletic events that we attend, the vacations that we take are shared experiences that will be with us throughout our lives.

The third benefit is that you set the stage for positive interactions with your spouse and children.  I will offer additional insights about these interactions in future presentations, but the important thing to note here is that we give selflessly to our spouses and children because they are us and we are them.  We create fulfilling lives with our spouses, and we help our children find fulfillment in the lives they are destined to lead.

To access purchase links to my book Young Achiever Playbook: Planning To Achieve, please visit my website, jafaulkerson.wordpress.com/store.

Thank you, and stay well.

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About Jeffery "J.A." Faulkerson

Jeffery "J.A." Faulkerson is the Executive Director of ACHIEVEMENT SQUARE Development & Training Centers, Inc. Through his Northern Virginia-based nonprofit corporation, he strives to help economically disadvantaged individuals increase their capacity to become great nurturers, great learners, great workers and great leaders. Jeffery is also a Nonprofit Strategist | Book Author | Motivational Speaker with Culturally Coded Content, a for-profit creative writing and strategic planning firm. He is the author of Adinkrahene: Fear of a Black Planet (fiction) and Real Men Raise CHAMPIONS: Unleashing Your Inner COACH (nonfiction). In July 2015, Adinkrahene: Fear of a Black Planet was named one of three finalists for a Phillis Wheatley Book Award (in the First Fiction category). The Phillis Wheatley Book Awards are held annually in conjunction with the Harlem Book Fair in New York City. A certified parent educator through Active Parenting Publishers, Inc., Jeffery is committed to showing all parents how to positively influence their children’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. He earned his Master’s of Science degree in Social Work from the University of Tennessee, and has worked with professionals in both the public and private sectors for over 20 years to improve outcomes for low-income children and their families. Jeffery is available to speak about his insights and experiences as an author, child and family advocate, philanthropist, and former TRIO Upward Bound and YMCA director. He also offers fee-based services for individual and corporate clients and facilitates fee-based workshops for parents who understand the importance of honing their skills and learning from other people’s experiences.
This entry was posted in Finding Your Purpose, Friendship, Healthy Relationships, Motivation, Nonprofit Organization, parenting advice, Self-help. Bookmark the permalink.

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